CHANGES THAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE

CHANGES THAT HAPPENED TO ME

- Rest. Readjust. Reset. Refocus. As many times as you need to.

3 to 4 years ago I have had a few changes happen to me, In every possible way. I was in a relationship with a man that I knew in my youth, to make a long story short him and I ended that relationship and I went on my own way, I, later on, had other relationships after thinking I healed from the last one. I realized it wasn't such a good idea, Those relationships had their issues as a result it ended. Long after a year after that time, I got back with that man that I knew when I was younger because I was thinking to give it another try. Because he suggested it. 

But when I got back with him, he was very emotionally distant and cold towards me which caused a lot of issues between us. I felt empty with him and hollow. It was not a good feeling at all, We end up ending the relationship which was in the year 2017, and after that situation, that was the last relationship I had from that point on, it took 2017 to 2021 to do some self-reflection, I stood but myself, I decided it was best to have no physical interactions, no relationships whatsoever of any kind. I wanted to take the time to know myself, my wants, hopes, desires, dreams, and goals it took 4 years to take that time. 

I wanted to heal from all the things I've faced after those years. I've had lonely moments I admit. but it was much needed. During that time I did a lot of questioning, I often questioned myself why I took so much in those relationships and I had to do a lot of self-discovery and look within myself and find answers to those questions, that only I could answer. It was a daily process, I realized that I took the abuse because of past traumas I had in my early years that started from my childhood, As people, we take abuse and mistreatment because it might feel familiar. That reminds me of a song I know by Simon & Garfunkel their hit 1964 song, "The Sounds of Silence" which goes a little like "Hello darkness, my old friend" you might feel the darkness in your life been like an old friend, you've got used to the feeling. Even though it doesn't serve a purpose, only to bring sorrow into your life, it still feels like home.

Another example perhaps is when you were younger you were abused by your parents, so-called friends, partners, and random people, and you felt you deserved it in one way or another. You took so much you got used to it psychologically/mentally, and it become a force of habit. That all you know is the world is so cold. I think personally it's important to be on a journey to break those chains. I know, believe me, that it can be hard but it's necessary, little steps towards that direction can get you to a place of freedom and get the change you might be looking for, but that's only if you want that.  

If it wasn't for me taking those steps I wouldn't have found a little more peace within myself. There are so many things to consider before getting with a person, to save yourself from issues and possible heartache that can be life-changing, it's important to get to know the person you with in every aspect, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually there are many more things that you should keep in mind/consider but that's just a short example. 

My hope is that this can be helpful to someone in one way or another. My experience sure did change me, It was scary at first but the change was much needed in my life, and nowhere near things are perfect there is so much more to learn, but it is a  process. I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this. I really hope this could give you food for thought and is beneficial to you. 

This is to anyone whether you are a male or female I want you to know there is hope and there is healing waiting for you. You deserve to experience real true love, When the time is right things will fall into the right place you also deserve true happiness and all the wonderful things that life can offer you.

I also would like to add and end this by saying "that change is an adjustment and it can be really hard but it might be the most crucial/vital thing that needs to happen to you" ♡